What do you think of when you think of a relationship? Good old Webster Dictionary says, “the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected and the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave toward each other.”
The words that really stick out to me are how you and the people in your life “regard and behave toward each other”.
I have to say, that I have been in some toxic relationships, both romantic and relational-i.e. friendships. I tend to be a lover and not a fighter, a peacemaker and not a general in a battle. This has caused me pain in the past because my behavior (above), in response to others’ aggressive behavior towards me, did not really help me to have good relationships.
People show you very clearly who they are and it was my job to stop making excuses for, distort, or avoid the reality of the toxicity that was polluting my life. I also had to take responsibility for not standing my ground in order to avoid the painful truth that when someone didn’t treat me well, it meant that they really could not be in my life and that I was the one who had to take action to end the relationship. Sounds harsh even as I write this, but the truth is, if someone is not behaving well towards you and does not hold you in a positive regard, then there just might not be room in your life for them.
Exercise to start:
Write down all of your relationships in a journal and then one by one, go through them and write down their most recent behaviors towards you. What they specifically said, how they acted and behaved towards you and how it made you feel. This is the first step towards cleaning relationship house.
I would love to have you join me in the discussion and on the journey on my FB page FAB Ever After where we support, encourage and grow together on this journey called life!
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