Ah, sweet surrender. The word “surrender” can either bring great comfort and peace or can feel downright horrifying! Depending on your relationship to both the word itself and the practice of surrendering, it can be an incredibly vunerable feeling. When we learn how to use it effectively, it can actually be highly positive and even life-changing.
Recently I had an elective surgery, necessary in my book, but still elective. Talk about fear of letting go of control. This scenario of letting go was confronting me smack in the face! For me, letting go of control is COMPLETELY trusting in other humans and a Higher Power. So much easier said than done. It was world war three inside my head as I actively worked the tools that I teach in order to get me through the process.
Here is what I learned about the Art of Surrender
1) Ask yourself “What am I afraid will happen if I let go of control?”
Well, in my case the worst case scenario that came up was literally that I would die and leave my daughter without a mother. That is really my worst fear. Not of death itself as I am good with God, but of the pain and suffering that it would cause my daughter to grow up without a mother. But even in that, the tool I had to dial into again and again is, “Let go and let God.” I have to ultimately trust that even if I died, my higher power has a plan for my daughter. (Serious sigh of relief when I woke up after surgery. I cried in gratitude to still be here.)
2) Find out whose business you’re in.
Oh man, was I in God’s business on this one. I tell a story in my therapy sessions that when you play tug-of-war with your Higher Power, He is gonna let go and let you fall on your ass! Ouch! My higher power wants me to learn and let Him be in charge by giving me some bruises and bumps on this journey called life.
3) Consider this: Would letting go feel like freedom?
Yup, in this case, I ultimately felt a sense of calm and peace going into the surgery for which I had to get general anesthesia. As the anesthesiologist was getting ready to put me under he asked me if I needed anything and I said, “Yeah, just don’t kill me please”. They laughed but as I was going under I realized that it really wasn’t up to him or to me…that was true freedom!
Learning the art of surrender definitely takes practice and it is a skill developed over time. It involves trust to degrees we may never have allowed or even considered. In my case it was let go or have massive anxiety or even back out of a surgery that will certainly improve my quality of life and hopefully ultimately reach my goal of getting a black belt in karate and more. Letting go of control can also bring tremendous levels of relief and comfort when we learn to do it in a healthy way that is beneficial to us and those over whose lives we may have influence.
Dial into the tool of spirituality on this one cuz I don’t know of any other tool that is more powerful!
P.S. Whatever your belief, go with it. Practice it. Be true to it. I am not here to tell you what or who to believe in, just that spirituality is a tool that is used around the world by 7 Billion odd people or so, so there must be something to it:)
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